Video Games

There's something you may not know about Dan but becomes quite apparent once you play any sort of cooperative games with him. He will ditch you in a heartbeat if it means retrieving any kind of loot that he finds beneficial to his survival. Here are just a few examples of how Dan screws you over in a game [the following contains terminology used beyond layman understanding... girls too].

League of Legends: Dan will farm minions in top lane while your team is in a team fight in mid. You ping the map and yell at him over your microphone but he is too occupied last-hitting minions for that B.F. Sword. You lose the 4v5 team fight, you lose the match. At least he got that B.F. Sword on his Garen.

Left 4 Dead [2]: The very second Dan spots a medkit, he will heal himself with his current medkit at 80% health and pick up the second one. He does not wait for the team to catch up to see which one of his bloodied and dying 1% teammates can use the medkit the most. He needs that first AND second medkit for himself. Why? Screw you, the Witch might be nearby.

Marvel: Ultimate Alliance: The ever opportunistic Dan will walk away from our team fighting Dr. Doom's army of bots to explore the map and pick up all the stats/ability boosts. What the fuck. You know you can share those once in a while right? Wolverine needed the intelligence power-up? No, that's cool, Storm didn't need that anyway. She doesn't really need intelligence to control the weather; at her current level she can control this piss bucket of water [fuck you Dan].

Did you notice the pattern? Dan will take the road less traveled. He is a natural-born explorer. He pushes [personal] boundaries without regards to warnings or caution. He goes at his own pace too, you can neither rush him nor slow him down. He's like a crippled Juggernaut, waddling through walls, chasing the adorable Kitty Pryde. Dan is a "Wolverine" that you can drag to bars/clubs but that's not where he wants to be. He'd rather be away from you, away from civilization, underneath a star-lit night, and playing video games.

Plus hiking, he loves hiking.

Fun Post Time #1

[Fun post time! Can you spot the hidden message?]

Dan is a great guy, ladies.

Another nice guy, scared to fight?

No! What are you? Crazy?

Look, he's a douche and a bad-ass but will treat you right.

Only if you're hot enough and freaky limber.

Venereal disease-free hot, like Zoolander ridicously good looking.

Ever heard Adele's "Don't You Remember?"

She wrote that about Dan, her metaphoric king.

He'll bring you chicken soup when you're sick.

Including utensils because he's sophisticated and shit.

Keep walking if you're not hiking, ladies.

In a world we must defend.

Now, this is a story about how [he];

Gotta catch 'em all!

White Sands

March-April 2011

An epic cross-country trip that started in Pensacola, Florida and ended at the mild Orange County, California, we group of 3 flew out to Florida to help an old friend move back home. We drove for a week, racking miles upon miles, eating anything and everything like locusts. All these famous landmarks and cities have no power upon our group because "we're the [Four] Best Friends that anyone could have, we're the [Four] Best Friends that anyone could have" [/Zach Galifianakis]. All except one magical place... White Sands National Monument [Wiki Link].

More than halfway through our trip, we hit a snag, a [very stupid] first world problem if you will: how do we get our iPad playing Tron: Legacy to stand up while the vehicle was in motion. Dan suggested an unpopular solution that involved pillows and water bottles. Regrettably, we mocked him. His angelic voice fell silent, his carefree demeanor turned stoic. It was quiet the rest of the night. We missed dinner and went to sleep hungry after a 12 hour drive. The next morning with a hearty breakfast at [Thuy's favorite restaurant ever] Denny's, we were off again.

We took a detour and stopped at White Sands. The blinding sands lived up to its namesake. The sand was a fine powder; winds carving the rolling barren hills. Dan still mute from the previous night while he quietly squished his feet in the sands. Suddenly, like Aladdin unleashing Genie for the first time in the Cave of Mystery, Dan exploded with "I can't stay mad at you guys!"

What followed was bromance up the ying-yang. We wrestled, played in the sand, posed and took pictures to capture said bromance. The undeniable power of the outdoors churned Dan's hate into love. Like the sun rejuvenating Superman, White Sands cleansed Dan and lifted his sunken spirits. His love for the outdoors, hiking, and the sands on his toes overcame personal grudges. White Sands National Monument [New Mexico], yeah, it's magical .

Proof! [not pictured: unadulterated make-up bromance]

Memes, memes everywhere

Dan drinks A LOT of water. Better keep an eye on your supply or you'll have to do a Bear Grylls.

- 4nh

Black Star Canyon

"My legs are sore from yesterday; feels kind of good" - Dan [2/19/12]

Words of sincerity from the man himself. Dan went hiking the day before at the cult favorite, Black Star Canyon [Wiki Link]. Nestling quietly within the Santa Ana Mountains next to Irvine Lake, it attracts mountain bikers, hikers, dog walkers, and ghost hunters. It is a personal favorite of mine and even without water running down the fickle waterfall, it's still a rewarding hike that Orange County hikers should take the time to visit.

Dan did not want to go on this hike, citing an uneventful precedent [saving that for a future post]. Thankfully due to my awesome Facebook planning [ahem, not Minh's] and the female persuasions [Dan's kryptonite], Dan confirmed the night before the hike. During the hike he held back; cautiously quiet, calculating how much time he is wasting being outdoors underneath a scorching 65 degrees sun.

The mid-way point after hitting the creek, facing solid boulders the size of Jeremy Lin's balls, I saw it in his dreamy sleepy eyes. The shimmer of adventure! He wanted to go faster. Damn useless teammates holding him back, forcing him to wait on others. Screw safety and common curtesy! Reaching the drought-stricken waterfall and soaking up the cooling canyon breezes, I overheard him say [perhaps to himself], "this place is pretty cool." Yes! Gotcha bitch! [/Dave Chappelle]

Proof!

- 4nh

Bridge to Nowhere

July 2011

The famous Bridge to Nowhere hike located in the San Gabriel Mountains [Wiki Link] was an opportunity to hike with a few friends. Dan amazingly did not hesitate too much and even dragged his ruggedly sexy brother out to go hiking with us. We followed a trusted friend, Stephen C. an experienced adventurer and avid hiker that completed the hike a few weeks earlier. Dan was told of the distance and difficulty to the fullest extent and still he came out to hike [Wow! What a guy!]. A few profanities here and there, an unorthodox lack of sun protection, and a sense of "why the hell did I agree to this" attitude precluded his true love of hiking.

Proof!

- 4nh

Introduction

This blog is dedicated to my friend and co-ops partner "dafatdog" aka "Dan da man" or simply "Dan." Whatever you call him, expect to be met with unending generosity in the forms of swears under his breath, rolls of those aloof brown eyes, and mocking exhaust from his precious "gunmetal" Mustang, all for wasting his time. He does not care for your sick puppy, nor does he care for what your boyfriend did while you were going through beauty school. If you take anything from this blog, take the fact that Dan does not care for your petty squabbles.

Dan Loves Hiking is a about a man and his love for the great outdoors; a love so great that society frowns upon it and Republicans vote to ban it. It is so intense that it loops back upon itself and resurfaces as verbal assaults and hatred. Dan will voice his opinions that he "hates" hiking but in fact he [not-so-discreetly] loves it. He says he does not like to sweat while moving his feet traversing the carefully tendered trails of Orange County and surrounding areas of majestic natural beauty that is Southern California. He complains loudly, cusses passionately, and sweats profusely all while hiking, climbing, swimming, and posing for pictures without shame.

Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, I give you Dan Loves Hiking [with pictures!]

- 4nh